They both must not be white.
After seeing Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay last night, I am sure of one thing.
They must be partners in some form or another.
They can not be the same race.
So…without further ado.
1. John Cho and Kal Penn-These guys were the inspiration for this list. They transformed two underappreciated american minorities from “the annoying chinese classmate” and “the overstudious indian college student with a goofy accent” supporting extras (american pie and van wilder respectively) into multi comedy mega stars (okay, I may be stretching that, but that’s what Harold and Kumar have become to me). Really, our asian and subcontinent neighbors are in larger numbers than the get credit for, and are often stereotyped as being weird and dorky. Really though, it is jealousy. They make the transition from restaurant and 7-11 workers to doctors and engineers often in one generation, much quicker than most other people moving up the ladder of American dreams. In general they are much more productive members of society than my caucasian brethren, and now they are making their mark in Hollywood. I am hoping that they are a preview of things to come.
2. Yao Ming and Tracy McGrady- When the Rockets first drafted the Yaoster, I was immediately intrigued by the relationships he was bound to develop with his American teammates…particularly Stevie Franchise. But then Tracy McGrady joined the team, the franchise left, and Yao and McGrady have moved into NBA superstardom as a tandem (they are no stockton/malone yet, but I have a feeling they could get there). Yao’s transition to America has been smooth, his parents even opened up Yao’s (basically PF Chang’s meets The Yardhouse) which has been a very welcome addition to the Houston restaurant scene. I often wonder if these guys hang out outside of basketball…I watched the documentary The Year of the Yao trying to find out. Unfortunately, the documentary didn’t go into his social adjustment, but the Sports Guy once mentioned that this is a million dollar reality show. I also think Yao would be a great surreal life guest in like 20 years. On a technical note, I really wanted to put Dirk and Steve Nash in here as my NBA tandem as German and Canadian. Unfortunately they are both white so I don’t get to comment on the photo below. Though it might be more fun to use your imagination.
3. Rob Schneider and Eddie Griffin- I truly believe that the Deuce B Male G is the most underrated comedy series ever. If you don’t know what a chili rainbow is, then you just don’t understand. I think these guys have the asian/black comedy market cornered now (move over Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker). Yes, that’s right. Rob Schneider is have Jewish, half Filipino…in other words, he eats balut with his matzo ball soup.
4. Cheech and Chong- The originals. In college, did you ever know that group that was a couple redneck kids, the exfootball player thug, the feminist activitst, the gamer, and the hipster college radiohost? It could be one of those Michigan Ohio State ESPN commercial showing fans getting along with the tagline “Without sports, this wouldn’t be disgusting.” Well, without marijuana that group makes no sense. But Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong taught me at young age that this marijuana stuff is the ultimate uniter. Unfortunately, not everyone has figured this out yet…harold and kumar have the potential to be cheech in chong for the new millenium.
5. Barack Obama and Bill Richardson- I originally had the old WWF axis of evil tag team slotted here (Nikolai Volkov and the Iron Sheik), but after a long internal strife I decided that no matter how shitty things are in many parts of Eastern Europe, I still couldn’t consider a Russian a minority. However, for those raised on that shit, I include a picture to remind.
In the interest of following my rules, I chose unlikely political power team, Barack Obama and his influential hispanic endorsing New Mexican Governor, Bill Richardson. I say unlikely for two reasons. First, the Clintons made Richardson’s career by giving him important ambassadorial posts during Bill’s presidency. Democratic Cajun, James Carville used the word Judas to describe Richardson’s surprise endorsement of Obama. I mean, he watched the Super Bowl with Bill earlier in the campaign…doesn’t that mean anything?? The second reason this comes as a surprise is because most Mexican people hate Black people. When I was a high school teacher in Los Angeles, I went through 3 large scale race riots between black and mexican students in one month. At least in LA, there is a lot of bad blood between these two groups…clearly, Richardson and Obama didn’t grow up in South Central.]]>